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♥Tessa♥ [userpic]


December 6th, 2005 (03:09 am)
current song: Snakeface - Throwing Muses

Oh yeah, I'm so sweeet
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I'm not emo, I love life
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Could I be anymore hardcore? Oooh yeaaah
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So I've decided I like the font all centered, yeaaah boy.
Okay, So I was thinking. This year is so totally un-normal.
It didn't feel like Halloween, It didn't feel like Thanksgiving, and it most def. does not feel like Christmas, or my Birthday.
It's kinda heartbreaking you know? Like I used to look forward to Christmas cos' I knew I'd get everything I wanted. I miss being rich, a lot. Well not rich, but I don't like being poor. It is NOT fun. It's like I'll be sad on Christmas, especially cos' Aj is gonna be in Virginia. I won't have anyone. I don't want to be around my family, I know I'm going to cry. I just know it. And on my Birthday. Oh boy am I gonna cry then. I've written so many poems in my head lately, I just never get to the computer in time to type them down. I've written one on paper, but I don't like it.

Another thing I was thinking of is how Glad I am that I'm not friends with Staci. I think I was able to cope last christmas cos' I was drunk or high the majority of the time. And I was all "with" Tyler, then Ashford. And I was distracted. But, I wish I wouldn't have been so bad last Christmas. It was really hard on my grandmother, I mean I've always done the right thing, Always. I'm the good girl. I got good grades in School, never got in trouble. I hung out with the right crowd. But I was sick of being good, yanno? I just wanted to be all bad and stuff. I'm really thankful that I have Aj right now... I need him so bad right now too. I mean, I've never felt like this. Not with Reid, not with Alex, not with Dylan, none of them compare, in the least. He's the best thing I've ever had. I'd be so lost without him.

I'm also glad that Linds and I are speaking again.. It was really weird not talking to her. I don't like it when she doesn't like me. I still don't know exactly how she feels, and I wish she would tell me... and I wish I could be a better friend, but I'ma bitch, I can't help being a stupid person, and a horrible friend and OMG I'm really glad she's not hating me anymore.

And, Jessica has helped me out a lot A LOT with my blissful long distance relationship. Lots of advice, and it's all helped me a lot.. SO THANKS GIRL!
And yeah, just thought I'd update, since it's been so long.
Mk, going to talk to Linds and Alex and..amanda? Yeah something! okay holla!


Posted by: ((Anonymous))
Posted at: December 6th, 2005 08:32 pm (UTC)


Posted by: tainted_january (tainted_january)
Posted at: January 3rd, 2006 03:26 pm (UTC)


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